Risking Rejection

Do you long for words of Love & Romance yet distrust all signs of affection, expecting only rejection ultimately?

Maybe your background attachment figures never said “I’m here for you”, maybe the memory that stayed was “I’m not wanted around here so how can you let such words in now?

Time passes but the hunger for affection remains hence you can’t handle love, so you keep your distance.

You might tell yourself, “ if I have to going through with this relationship business again make it easy on myself, I know what can happen? Next time be more cynical, look for practical qualities:

• Have they bags of money?
• Good health and fitness?
• A successful career?
• Amazing looks and dress sense?
• Do you follow the cooler guy, not the sensitive loyal type?
• These are all inner worries, your date night can be relaxed and happy with them or distant with them avoiding rejection of course. A loving relationship starts from the inside. What’s the difference?
• Taking a little risk, trusting all will work out or eternally self-protecting, never showing vulnerability. Are you waiting to become the most perfectly desirable person, before ever risking rejection? Do you believe you must first ensure:
• My body must be ship-shape
• I need to own a Park Avenue apartment.
• I need to get the career of my dreams under my belt.
• First, I need the security and independence of my first million in some form.
• I must be recognised for my wit and intelligence

• We can visualise the distrusting side and investigate, this distrusting side plays a major part in sabotaging relationships without you even being aware.
• This distant and distrusting side protects the vulnerable you, never allowing exposure to rejection, only allowing its opposite, black & white rules, no emotion felt.
• Can we expose those black and white beliefs and shake them out, Can men ever be trusted, do ladies only want all they can get, are men only capable of hankie-pankie, can women see beyond kitchens and cradles, What’s missing in my life? Do I need to sign a contract to find the security I want, is it ever safe to risk rejection? Is the fear of rejection stopping you risking romance and togetherness? I’m happy to help expose the myths, the negative beliefs and heal the damage.

Article by Mary Mcilroy Counselling Services.