Communication – the human connection

Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success. – Paul J. Meyer

From the day we are born we try to express our thoughts and get out what we want to say however, being able to communicate in a clear manner can be very difficult, many people struggle with the challenge. Unclear communication has led to many unnecessary arguments between friends, families, couples, and perhaps even countries. Clear communication is something that takes practice. It is a skill that you can develop and acquire over time. You may struggle with it now but with practice and continued effort you will likely improve. Here are 13 ways to improve your communication skills:

1. Ask for an objective opinion
You struggle with communication but it would be interesting to know if others share that opinion. You could ask your friends, family members or teachers whether they agree with your self-evaluation. Their responses may surprise you. You may find you are much better at communicating than you give yourself credit for.

2. Practice with friends or family
Objective listeners may be able to identify unclear presentation of ideas.

3. Look for similarities and establish a connection
When meeting people always look for common ground, identify similar interests or hobbies. Steer clear from controversial topics, such as politics or religion.

4. Be a receptive listener
We love talking about ourselves. To become a powerful communicator, show genuine interest in the other person’s family, work, or any causes that are important in their life. As Dale Carnegie famously said “ Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours”.

5. Have other people read your work.
With regard to writing, sometimes we become “too close” to our work and no longer see where we may be making errors. An objective observer can point out overlooked mistakes.

6. Join a debate club
Debate clubs often foster skills such as articulating logical arguments and developing clarity of thought.

7. Read
Reading has many benefits. It’s like exercising the mind. It keeps us mentally sharp. You may want to read works by “great” writers. Opinions vary greatly but a list of great writers may include Tolstoy, Dickens, Hemingway, and many others. Another way to develop your communication skills may be to read editorials and news articles in prominent newspapers such as The Times. Pay attention to sentence structure, grammar, presentation of ideas, and so forth and it could help you to improve your skills. You may also want to consider reading books about communication.

8. Take a public speaking class
Many people avoid public speaking classes but if you’re interested in developing communication skills, I would highly recommend it. It could help you to be a more sensitive and deliberate communicator. Public speaking courses encourage an examination of our thoughts and beliefs and thus may lead to clarity of thought.

9. Make it a point to speak when you’d rather send a text or email.
It is okay on some occasions to write instead of speaking to someone directly but not if you do it to avoid the uncomfortable feeling associated with trying to express yourself. Try to force yourself to speak instead of writing. It may not be easy and it may be unpleasant at first but over time your communication skills may improve.

10. Develop good eye contact
Eye contact is vital for successful conversations. It shows attentiveness and interest in what is being said. According to research, consciously making eye contact during conversation conveys truth and honor. However, remember that good eye contact is a balancing act Too much can be seen as aggressive, while too little equals lack of interest in the person speaking.

11. Avoid judgment
For effective communication you don’t always have to agree with the other person’s believes or opinions. However, you should try to set aside your judgment and steer away from any criticism. This will help you to truly understand the person and make a deeper connection.

12. Don’t get fixed on what you want to say next
People can easily recognise when you are truly listening. Always make sure you listen before you speak and let others finish their points. Your patience and thoughtfulness will be appreciated.

13. Maintain a positive attitude
We tend to avoid people who are frequently miserable. Therefore, when communicating with others try to maintain a positive attitude towards life. If you smile more often, people will be more likely to respond positively to you.

While your communication skills won’t improve over night, it is worth taking time and effort to put above tips into practice. Considering that effective communication is one of the most important life skills we can learn, embarking on a long-term journey of improving your skills is crucial. Start today, it will be a journey you won’t regret.

Article by Mary Mcilroy Counselling Services.