Relationships

We long for love, for our heart and our head it’s essential for survival, the stuff of dreams yet the core of nightmares. Relationships can be a recurrent disaster, an ongoing mistake, the same error we unconsciously make. Never recognising the negative belief we hold on to and repeat. If we’re lucky we’ve found Mr \ Mrs Perfect, or are you unsure toying with the question “is he for me, will it happen again? will he break all my rules, rip my heart wide open? do I dare set boundaries, have the courage to say I don’t want a cheat, I do want TLC. In a perfect world, relationships would be 50 / 50 equal giving, equal getting, equal debating and understanding. In reality, the death of a loved one, pressurised professions, health issues, sex problems, children’s rebellions, financial stresses, flying the nest, poor communication all affect the balance of a relationship and leave one person feeling lonely, uncommitted, again isolated. Relationship Counselling is generally best for addressing couples issues but individual counselling can at times be a good alternative. In fact, there are times when this option may be a better one than couples therapy. Plotting out the ups and downs of our relationships can pinpoint the why’s, looking at the role we also play in start & ends can help see what to change. And change is possible. “If you love yourself you love others, if you hate yourself you hate others, because in relationship with others it is only you mirrored”. Osho

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Considering therapy?

The majority of us build a set of coping mechanisms throughout our lives that can help us to face life’s challenges as they arise. Common coping methods include meditation, reaching out to some self-help literature or taking up a regular fitness regime. We also each have friends and family on whom we can count for love and support. Yet, with all these good intentions, it is difficult for friends to be unbiased or to tell us things they fear may hurt us. Nor are they able to understand all that they see and hear in us.

Psychotherapy is often referred to as 'talking treatment' as it is usually based on creating a regular time and space for an individual to talk about his problems, explore difficult feelings and work towards solutions with a trained professional. Other forms of therapy may include a variety of communication methods, such as writing, music or artwork.
If you are considering counselling, but are perhaps a little sceptic, thinking along the lines of ‘what can they tell me that I haven’t already thought of myself’? Or perhaps perceiving it as a cure for self-obsessed celebrities or others with too much time or money on their hands, take a minute to look at the following, proven benefits that it can bring to anyone’s life.

Bear in mind that while therapy is often not a quick fix the gains here are deep and long lasting:

  1. Research in the field has shown that verbalizing feelings and getting one’s worries out into the open has a significant therapeutic effect on the brain.
  2. A professional has the ability to listen in a very different way to other people, and therefore is capable of hearing what others do not, even the speaker themselves... This means that they can recognize shame where others hear aggression, fear where others hear anger. This invaluable ability can allow the speaker to get a completely new perspective, a different way of hearing and recognising his or her feelings and emotions.
  3. Therapy can also help one understand others, and this enhanced understanding has a positive influence on relationships with family, friends and co-workers.
  4. Exploring one’s past and individual circumstances in a confidential set up helps people to feel less on their own and identify choices for change. This ongoing support, throughout the highly challenging path of change, helps a person to reach a state where he or she is better equipped to cope with the future.

 

 

Find out how it can transform your life

As my client you will be positively and warmly accepted for all that you are. I will see your world and your relationship to it as it appears to you, and I will help you to move out of your difficulties and towards your goals. I offer the benefit of unbiased, honest feedback based on years of training and experience.

Working with me, you can speak openly and in private. I am dedicated to helping you expand your sense of well-being.

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If you have questions please contact Mary directly.

GET IN CONTACT
Mary Mcilroy Counselling

BACP Accreddited, BUPA rqegistered anxiety counsellor therapist offering face to face counselling & online counselling sessions.

07769 218 281
mcilroy.mary@gmail.com
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